I first visited AHOPE, an orphanage for HIV+ children, in December of 2006 during a trip to adopt my son from a different orphanage. A few dozen children ran up to my mom, friends, and me, demanding pictures be taken and bubbles be blown. The children were sweet and loving, but only a few had found permanent homes. I left the compound feeling overwhelmed, but with a strong sense of purpose. Something had to be done and I needed to be a part of that. I broached the subject of adopting one of the beautiful children that we had met, but my husband was opposed to the idea. We compromised by sponsoring a child. We received information about a little girl named Alemteshay, whom I remembered from my visit. We enjoyed getting updates about her and were happy with our decision to sponsor a child.

In the summer of 2007, we began the adoption process again. My daughter had been begging for a sister, and with four brothers, was tired of being outnumbered. At three years old, she would come down the stairs in the morning, and say “Daddy, last night, I dreamed there was a knock on my door. I opened it and there was a little girl who said, ‘I am your sister! Let’s play together and be best friends.’ That was a good dream, Daddy.” Yes, she really does lay it on that thick.


We were in the process of having our homestudy updated when we received an update picture of Alemteshay. She looked so much like our Ethiopian son, Patrick. She had a gorgeous and sassy smile on her face and I was in love. I felt like she was meant to be our daughter. I knew that my husband was not on board with the idea of an HIV + child, so I scanned just her picture and emailed it to him. He wrote back, “That looks like my daughter.” That night when he came home, he asked me about her and I told him that she was from AHOPE and was positive. He said, “Tell me about HIV.” Luckily, I had mercilessly grilled a Pediatric HIV nurse practitioner friend a few weeks earlier, so I was prepared for his questions. After that discussion, we decided that Alemteshay would be our daughter. We turned in paperwork to the adoption agency and began the wait to bring her home.


During that time, I found amazing resources. We had an awesome support group and Project Hopeful offered excellent information about the waiver paperwork that all families adopting an HIV + child must submit to immigration. After we passed court, Carolyn Twietmeyer emailed me to remind me to fill out one last bit of paperwork so that McLane, PH’s attorney, could help out with the waiver if necessary. After all the paperwork that we had done, it slipped my mind and I left without it.
Our embassy appointment went as planned and I thought all was well until three days before we was supposed to leave. I learned that our paperwork was missing some medical information that should have been completed by my daughter’s doctor. Frantic, my husband emailed Carolyn and patiently, she made sure that we got the paperwork quickly and gave us a way to send it back, not easy in a country without consistent mail service or electricity. As I waited impatiently for everything to be completed, Project Hopeful took the ball and ran with it. Mclane worked to make sure that the embassy knew about my wait and helped encourage the staff to process the paperwork quickly. Carolyn became a pillar of support to me. Every day, she sent me an email that was full of encouragement and empathy. Those emails helped me so much while I was there. I had someone that I could look to while I waited without any real idea of how long my wait would be. When my daughter and I stepped on that plane to go home, I said a prayer of thanks to the wonderful people at PH who had helped so much.